BS 04 I Like A Moose (lord's version)
                                      Thomas Payton,et.al.
Sung To The Tune Of  Betsy From Pike

When I was a young man I used to like girls; 
I'd tickle their bodies and play with their curls. 
But my girlfriend ran off with a sailor named Bruce 
Now, you'd never be treated that way by a moose! 

chorus: And it's moose, moose, I like a moose, 
I've never had anything quite like a moose. 
I've had many women, my life has been loose 
But I've never had anything quite like a moose. 

Whenever I feels I'm in need of a lay 
I goes to my cupboard and gets me some hay. 
I leans out my window and spreads it around 
'Cos a moose always comes when there's hay on the ground! 

I've done it with all sorts of beasties with hair 
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs wasn't there! 
I've had me a chicken, a duck and a goose 
(Alt: I've done it with llamas, sheepdogs, and a goose)
But I've never had anything quite like a moose. 

Bears are all right for a Saturday night 
(Alt: Purple gorillas on Saturday night, )
And lions and tigers put up a great fight
But it's just not the same when I ram their caboose
As it does when I get a good hump on a moose

I've tried many creatures on land and at sea
I've even tried ostriches but they didn't like me
Sharks are quite good but they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there's nothing quite like a moose

Woodchucks are all right, except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last through the night
Cows would be fun but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose

Step in to my study and you will find there
A black striped tiger and a scruffy maned bear
You'll know the elephant 'cause his skin is so loose
And the one that is winking you know is the moose

The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
And machine guns and tigers I've proved just don't mix
The elephant he fell by a bomb with a fuse
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose

I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose

The good lord made Adam and a woman named Eve
Said if you sin now I'll ask you to leave
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But because Adam decided the moose; they were cute

The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celts they dream of the young unicorn
The Germans are happy with leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope

Well I've broken the law in this god awful state
And they've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose

Now I am old ... and increasing in years 
I looks on my past, and I sheds me no tears. 
I just sits in my chair with a glass of Mateus, 
Playing Hide the Salami with Minnie the Moose! 

And it's moose, moose, I like a moose, 
I've never had anything quite like a moose. 
I've had men and women, my life has been loose 
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Note: any time a "." Occurs out of context add or subtract notes to fit the lyrics.