We’re From Avacal
To The Tune Of: Asshole by Denis Leary
By Thomas de Monet and Bic Osmiroid
Spoken:
Peasants, we’d like to sing you a song about the Avacal Dream.
You know that feeling you get, when you get your first one-shot kill?
That special bell ringing, helm denting shot?
The one their Grandmother will feel?
Remember that feeling?
Remember how good you felt deep down in the bottom of your sword arm?
That special powerful feeling?
Well, this ain’t about that at all……….
Sung:
Well, I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job.
I’m your average white, medieval-type slob.
I like hockey and porno and books about war.
I spend all the rent money on going to war!
Our Knights and our Hommes are first at the bar
Then we all stand outside and smoke Cuban cigars!
But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a jock like me interested
(Oh no!) No way! (Uh uh!)
No I gotta go out and have fun at some other kingdom’s expense
(Oh yeah!) Yeah yeah! (Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!)
We drive really far to pillage many places!
We get really drunk and fall on our faces!
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
When we take to the field , we will kill you all dead!
Then we’ll take all your ladies right off to our beds!
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
Sometimes we’ll hit you in all the right places,
We’ll hit you so hard, you’ll fall on your faces!
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
Maybe we shouldn’t be singin this song,
Ranting and raving and carrying on.
Maybe our King’s right when he tells us we’re wrong………
To hell with him! I didn’t vote for him anyway!
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
Spoken:
You know what we’re gonna do?
We’re gonna kick your ass all over the field,
Then we’re gonna drink all your crappy low alcohol beer
And take all your ladies back to our tents, Yeah!
And there’s not a goddamn thing any of you can do about it!
You know why?
Because we’ve got the Knights, that’s why!
Two words: BIG F**KIN’ KNIGHTS!
Artemesia, Midrealm, Northshield,
They can send all the fighters they want and
it wont make a lick of difference because we have the Knights!
Duke Rorik’s not dead!
He’s off making a family and when he comes out to play,
He’s gonna be really pissed off!
You know how pissed off?
You ever go to a camping event and run out of toilet paper?
Multiply that by 15 million times, that’s how pissed off the Duke’s gonna be!
We’re gonna bring the Duke, and Alby, and Vik and Ivar,
And a case of Molson’s
And drive down to Moorish……
(Other Singer) Hey, Hey, HEY!!!
You really ARE from Avacal aren’t you?
Yeah, and we don’t like you guys either!
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
We’re from Avacal!
(They’re from Avacal! They’re from Avacal!)
A-V-A-C-AAAAAA-L……
Everybody!!!!
A-V-A-C-AAAAAA-L……
Whack! Crunch! Whack! Smash! Whack! Crunch! Crunch!
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink!
Oooooooooooo!
(Spoken):We’re from Avacal and proud of it!