The Avacal Throne
Tune of: The Cover of The Rolling Stone
A Filk by Thomas de Monet
Note: only those heavy armored combatants who have fought in the Coronet
Lists of Avacal and never won should sing this song.
Opening: A group of fighters walks into the circle of light around a Bardic Campfire
Verse One:
Fighter 1:
What’ this? Oh! I don’t believe it! Wow!
Hey Fighter 2, Fighter 3, tell them who we are!
Fighter 2:
Well we’re big stick swingers
We’ve got golden triggers
And we’re loved everywhere we go
Fighter 1:
Yeah that’s us!
Fighter 3:
We fight for Beauty and we fight for Truth
And bore you with the blow-by-blow
Fighter 2 & 3:
We take all kinds of spills
That give the spectators thrills
But the thrill we’ve never known
Is the thrill that will get you
When you get your butt
On the seat of The Avacal Throne
Chorus:
Fighter 2 & 3 & 4:
Avacal Throne……..
Fighter 1:
Wanna see my butt on the seat!
Fighter 2 &
3 & 4: Avacal Throne……..
Fighter 1
: Gonna see the populace at my feet!
Fighter 2 & 3 & 4:
Avacal Throne……..
Fighter 1:
You won’t believe the smile on my face!
All Fighters:
When my butt’s on the Avacal Throne!
Verse Two:
Fighter 4:
I’ve got a gentle little Lady
From about 1580
Who embroiders all my things
I’ve got a poor old gray-haired knight
And all he does is sit and scream
Fighters 2 & 3:
Now it’s all designed
To blow a poor fighter’s mind
But our minds won’t really be blown
Like the blow that will kill you
When your enemy wraps you
And you lose your shot at the Throne!
Fighter 1:
Hey! I know how to get it!
GRAND MELEE!!!
All Fighters:
A small, short fight ensues……
Fighter 1:
Oh! That was beautiful!
Chorus: As Above
Verse Three:
Fighter 2 & 3:
We’ve got a lot of little teenaged curvy newbies
Who’ll do anything we say!
We’ve got a genuine drunken Homme
Teachin’ us a better way
We’ve got all the beer that money can buy
So we never have to feast alone
And we keep getting’ danglies
But we can’t get our fannies
On the seat of the Avacal Throne
Chorus: As above X 2
Fighter 1:
(while all four are walking away)
I’ll be right up front man!
I can see it now!
I’ll be sitting up front,
Smilin’ down man, oh beautiful!