W 39 You're A Rapier Dude 
                       Rusudanii Tamara Dartamrys ot Osrov Angelvulk (Rusi) 
Sung To The Tune Of Old 8x10 (She's Got You)

I've got your gambeson
that you never washed,
And it still smells the same:
Guess you want it to rot.

Chorus
The only thing different,
The only thing new
Now you wear white lace:
You're a rapier dude.

I've got your heater,
I'd like to snap in half.
And it still weighs a ton,
it's damned hard to pack!

Chorus

Bridge 
I've got your rattan,
Or has it got me?
I'd call you light, but they'd be right:
A rhino cow i would be! 
(audience encouraged to moo here---or 
what ever it is female rhinos do...)

I've got your steel gorget,
kept your throat like a rose;
But you're wearing big feathers now:
It don't go with those!

Chorus/Bridge

Now that you're prettier than me,
Something i can't stand
Keep your feathers and lace!
I want a REAL man! (this line should be spoken emphatically!)

Chorus

Notes From Rusi
Filked Clinton 2001/AS XXXVI
This was partially inspired by Odli and while the song sounds
politically incorrect (I've already had one complaint), I'm sure if
you're a male, you're thrillingly masculine, if female, enchantingly
feminine.