Anonymous
Sung To The Tune Of The Cat Came Back
Now, one old King had troubles of his own
He had a thick-skinned bard that wouldn't leave his home
He tried and he tried to send that bard away
He sold him to a Dane going far, far away......
Chorus
But the Celt came back, the very next day!
The Celt came back they thought he was a goner,
But the Celt came back,
He just wouldn't stay away!
The local Baron said that he would shoot that Celt on sight
So he loaded up his cannon with powder to the sight
He waited and he waited for that bard to come around
Itty-bitty pieces of the castle's all they found....
He gave him to a Visigoth going out East
Saying "Sell him to the Mongols; feed him to a Beast!"
They got up to the Channel, and they thought they'd get across
Tomorrow they'll write off the 'Goth as bein' a total loss...
He gave him to a serf with a ten-shilling note
Take him out on the lake, take him out on a boat!
They tied a rock around his neck,
It must have weighed ten stone
And now they drag the shoreline,
'Cause the boat came back..alone..
They sent him to the Borgia's to have a little feast
Kill him off with poisoned wine, use cyanide at least!
He drank several barrels of the poisoned wine that day
And now the Borgias have all...passed away...
He gave him to a knight, to use him for a pell
Saying "Beat him smartly, I wanna hear him yell!"
The knight armoured up, and sharpened up his sword
No one's ever heard again of that knightly Lord....
The Greek Fire fell just the other day
Lightning from Heaven in the very same way!
Egypt, Greece, and Rome are gone…
They've all passed away
The whole Ancient World became dust that very day
But the Celts came back the very next day
The Celts came back, we thought that they were goners,
But the Celts came back
They just couldn't stay away