Lady Rhowyn Arden The Bard
Sung To The Tune Of Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be
Chorus
Oh, dear what can the matter be?
Albrecht von Rugen got locked in the lavatory
Locked himself in and he missed all the pageantry!
Nobody knew he was there!
It was on a Friday he got to the site
He set up his camp, he did everything right
Then he went to the privy before tavern night
And somehow got locked up in there..
From where he sat he could hear all the revels
He yelled himself hoarse, he became quite disheveled
Most folk thought that john was possessed by the devil!
And no one would go around there!
Two Lords staggered by, they were playing with dice
Albe tried to bribe them, to name any price
But they said that his throne sure looked very nice
So they took off and left him in there.
When he heard ladies passing, he offered them wine.
If they'd just let him out, with the Prince they could dine,
They agreed that this must be the worst pick up line!
And they giggled and left him in there.
No one could he bribe, no one he could cajole
He sat there a-shivering and roared he was cold!
The children now called him "The Old Privy Troll"
And no one would venture near there.
Late on the Sunday, he gave a weak cry
With a jiggle and jangle the door opened wide
He saw an old caretaker standing outside
Wondering why he was there?
Albe embraced him and chortled with glee
He thanked him and asked, "How did you rescue me?"
The caretaker showed him a small silver key
"Three Barons gave this to my care."