H 15 The Volga Birthday Song
Unknown
Sung To The Tune Of Volga Boatmen
Chorus
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
Hear the Women wail and Weep
Kill them all ,but spare the SHEEP!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse
So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your old friends
So another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!
The Black Death has struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down
We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!
Add -romance- to life tonight
Burn, then Rape by firelight!
I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me
Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out that you're a____
You're a period cook, its true
Ask the beetles in the stew
Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun!
You must marry very soon
Baby's due the next full moon
Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues
Tho you're turning 29
Age to you is like fine wine
Now you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer
Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say
So far death you have bypassed
Don't look now it's gaining fast
See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
This one lesson you must learn
FIRST! you pillage, THEN !you burn
Happy Birthday!
Performer(s): To many to list