Hello Whistler? Dis Is Da Union
by Lady Annys Bradwardyn
Filk of that “Camp Grenada” song

Hello Madda
Hello Fadda
Met this guy named
Mebro Specata
He’s a member of Da Union
And he’s hired me to go and do some goonin'

There’s this guy, see
His name is Whistler
Pulled his kilt up 
Told them to kiss her
I don’t know why
Men are so stupid
Now I gotta get my bow
And go play cupid

I don’t like assassination
Though in life I’ve found vocation
They’ve got class
Kneel down and kiss their ass
And maybe this transgression they’ll let pass

Come on bard just write their song
Or trust me squire it won’t be long
They’ll come around
Your honor they will pound 
And in your body arrows will be found

Cough it up now
No complaining
Or on you’re head their
Wrath is raining
Your health depends on
Your lovely singing
Or round your pretty throat 
My hands will be a-ringing

So dear union
I hope you’re happy
Smacked the man now
He’s wet his nappy
Good thing less archers
Here are women
In blood and gore the barony
Would be a swimmin'