The Ballad of Thomas Apple
To The Tune Of: Chemical Workerís Song by Great Big Sea
A filk by Thomas de Monet
She was schooner-rigged and rakish
with a long and lissome hull,
And I flew the pretty colors
of the Crossbones and the Skull;
I'd a big black Jolly Roger
flapping grimly from the fore,
And I sailed the Spanish waters
in the happy days of yore.
Thatís what I long for again! To fight like all the rest
My greed for gold is never gone, still aches within my breast!
She'd a long brass gun amidships
like a well-conducted ship,
All the men a brace of pistols
and a cutlass on the hip;
It's a point which tells against me
and a fact to be deplored,
But I chased the goodly merchantmen
and laid their ships aboard.
Then the dead men fouled the scuppers
and the rich men filled the chains,
and the decking was all splattered
with blood and bits of brains.
She was boarded, she was looted
she was scuttled till she sank,
And the pale survivors left us
by a long walk off the plank.
Ah! My pig-tailed, nasty pirates
and the awful pranks they played,
Have long been put a stop to
by the naughty Board of Trade;
My schooners and my merry crews
are laid away to rest,
But the need for gold and the fight so bold
Still beats within my breast