H 21 The Authenticity Police 
                                             Angus

Far down the road, in a tent made of gold
And lined with silver fleece,
Live the Authenticity Police.
There's some at every War,
It's their job to make sure
That each tunic, cloak, and ch'mise
is exactly as THEY please.

If it isn't all hand sewn, then it doesn't -- quite -- belong,
'Cause they really make a scene if it was <GASP>
Sewn on a machine...
Why, with just a few days more, you could have made sure
That the garb you wear with glee
Was made Authentically.

Where did you get your tent??? At the local buy-or-rent???
Why isn't it hand-sewn???
You should have MADE YOUR OWN!
Take a look at mine -- now there's a tent that's fine --
It's beautiful, I know <SMIRK>...
Took just eight years to sew.

Your armor is mundane! (Hockey pads give them a pain.)
Finest leather you must use, and get chain-mail printed bruise.
And your sleeping bag must go! You can't use it, NO, NO, NO!
Here's a blanket, neatly rolled --
Light a fire if you get cold.

Far down the road, in a tent made of gold,
And lined with silver fleece,
Live the Authenticity Police.
The self-appointed lords of this misbegotten world, 
Who have ALL TOO MUCH to say,
So avoid them while you may.