The Curse
by Lady Annys Bradwardyn

Cleopatra, Helene 
of legend they are made
And not just by their beauty 
were mighty legionís swayed
Now me, I donít look quite so hot
But my curse is just as strong
For though theyíre used to thinner girls 
I make all men go wrong

Chorus

Cause though Iím really not that pretty 
And Iím really rather fat
I guess I am amusing and I guess it must be that
For everywhere I wander, after just a little chat
I find that married men cannot resist me
(She finds that married men cannot resist her)

Long ago one eve at a war event
Over hard fought Mahjong
A groom went on about his bride
His praises they were long
I stretched and wandered off to bed
Nary without a care
But when I pulled the bed sheets back
He was already there

Chorus

I had an argument one night
With a husband whoíd offended
I shot him down with all my might
The mock-age never ended
At first he seemed very contrite
The tears danced in his eyes
But with a snorting laugh he grinned
And grabbed between my thighs 

Chorus

I thought my curse was at an end
I weighed three hundred-pound
I wondered to a wedding,
Witty stories did abound
But later I was cornered by
The brother of the bride
He tried to lick my tonsils when
His wife remained inside

Chorus

Only once has any man
Been able to resist
And though I rather liked him
By him, I was not kissed
He came later to gloat at me
For escaping marital strife
He opened the door and on the floor
I was pinned by his wife

Chorus

I know you think Iím lying
You think it is untrue
You look at me and at your wife
And think it wonít be you
But when the night is over
Iím betting you will find
That, even if you love your wife
Your craving my behind

Chorus